PROTECTION TECHNIQUES
A beer this perfectly balanced needs to be protected. Here you will find useful tips and techniques to assist you.
1. The Hand
Widely acknowledged as the original classic. This is a tried and tested favourite with many a Hahn Super Dry drinker; the advantages being it’s ease of application, speed of protection and lack of additional materials required.
Fig. 1 - Place palm flat on top of beer glass.
Fig. 2 - Apply downwards pressure firmly and evenly until danger has passed.
Fig. 3 - Remove hand and enjoy Super Dry taste.
2. The Coaster
Perfect for the pub environment, this method employs simple materials found easily to hand in any reputable drinking establishment.
(a) The Lone Wolf
This method, perfect for the solo drinker, employs simple materials found easily to hand in any reputable drinking establishment.
Fig. 1 Take coaster off table. (Steal one from table nearby if necessary.)
Fig. 2 Place on top of glass.
Fig. 3 If needed, place additional coasters on top for reinforcement.
2. (b) Travel Insurance
“It’s your shout”. Three words that can strike fear into many a Hahn Super Dry drinker. Returning from the bar alone, tray of schooners in hand, can be a minefield. You can rest assured this technique will provide all the cover you need.
Fig. 4 - Whilst ordering situate yourself near a stack of coasters.
Fig. 5 - Place one on each glass or bottle.
Fig. 6 - Safely guide your tray with both hands back to table
3. The Babysitter
Inevitably, there will be times when you just can’t be there to mind your Hahn Super Dry. It could be a simple trip to the bathroom, or a tense phone call from your partner (perhaps inquiring on your current whereabouts) best taken outside. In that case, you need a babysitter; a sharp-eyed person of impeccable character and the ability to think on their feet, preferably a trusted mate.
Fig. 1 - Place your Hahn Super Dry down on level surface where it can’t be bumped.
Fig. 2 - Ask person to please look after your Hahn Super Dry. Make direct eye contact with person, whilst placing hand firmly on their shoulder and holding a steady gaze. This will reinforce the gravity of the trust you’re placing in them.
Fig. 3 - Alert your babysitter to any potential danger points within the room. Exit swiftly, with the goal of returning to your Hahn Super Dry as quickly as possible.
4. The Huddle
In an effort to keep warm on the polar plains, Emperor Penguins huddle together in a tightly packed group, rotating and taking turns to be exposed to harsh conditions on the outside. In extreme circumstances, a group of Hahn Super Dry drinkers can employ a similar survival instinct.
Hahn Super Dry drinkers enjoying their beer (Fig. 1) as a tragic love ballad intrudes (Fig. 2). Members of group huddle together tightly, hands covering their Hahn Super drys (Fig. 3), allowing each member to be exposed to the tragic love ballad for only short periods. Disband when song finishes.
5. The Foetal Position
Sometimes the only thing standing between your beer and utter disaster is you.
Fig. 1 - Place hand over Hahn Super Dry
Fig. 2 - Crouch down slowly, curling your entire body around your Hahn Super Dry like a human shield.
Fig. 3 - If possible, also take shelter under a table, preferably made of a heavy wood such as mahogany. Remember; you are the last line of defense.
6. The Rubber Glove
Occasionally, certain circumstances can prove almost un-defendable. In these situations we recommend the use of the rubber glove. Lightweight and portable with an impenetrable seal this popular household item never fails to protect.
Fig. 1 - Swiftly remove rubber glove from pocket.
Fig. 2 - Turn your back in defence then stretch to fit snuggly over schooner glass.
Fig. 3 - You are now free to move around safely; confident your beer will remain 100% protected.
